Following the end of my previous post where I let Fitzgerald do the hard work of finding the perfect ending for me, I decided to go back and revisit my favourite writer. I ended up spending the next 3 days re-reading all of his works including the dreadful Pat Hobby stories. Anyway, without further ado, below are my completely unscientific but straight from the heart rankings of Fitzgerald’s heroes. Like Fitzgerald himself with Zelda or Horace Tarbox with Marcia, I have trouble thinking with the idea of these people in my head. Warning: Spoilers ahead.
No 6: (sounds of whimpering followed by a massive fart) Anthony Patch
I can’t forsee anyone standing up and defending the black sheep of the pack. Anthony seems to lack any redeemable quality whatsoever. The ladies may claim to love him because of his good looks and Harvard chauvinism but upon closer inspection, its easy to see its mere veneer. His romance and betrothal to the equally vapid Gloria plays out like a poor man’s version of a bad Bollywood romcom which was rejected in favour of remaking Himmatwala instead. Worst of all, completely un-Fitzgerald like, he actually gets a happy ending! Sure, its an empty one, but at least he didn’t end up getting shot in his own swimming pool.
Best Line: None. Here’s Maury Noble instead:
Happiness, remarked Maury Noble one day, is only the first hour after the alleviation of some especially intense misery
No 5 (Crickets chirping) Pat Hobby
Writing about Pat just makes me sad. Its a reminder of what the world reduced Fitzgerald to post Zelda. Let’s just move on.
Best Line
Pat was at ‘the end of his resources’ – though this term is too ominous to describe a fairly usual condition in his life.
No 4 (faint yawns followed by small applause) Jay Gatsby
Without question the most overrated hero of our times. Hollywood made a damn musical around this man which just shows you how awful this character is. The first time I read The Great Gatsby, I didn’t really see the point of the love story. Granted the writing was beyond beautiful but what was the point of Gatsby coming back for Daisy? Its pretty shitty as a love story if you ask me. From what I can see, Gatsby is smart, ruthless, resourceful but also completely pussy whipped. I find it hard to fathom how such a strong man can allow himself to be blown away by a character such as Daisy and want to fit into the world inhabited by people like her. Gatsby, sadly, is now a poster boy for love struck beta males and is eulogized as a tragic lover boy instead of being at the center of one of the most beautifully written books ever.
Best line:
If it wasn’t for the mist we could see your home across the bay,” said Gatsby. “You always have a green light that burns all night at the end of your dock.
No 3: (clap clap clap clap clap…) Dick Diver
My my my. Where do you begin with Dick? Here’s a guy that had it all. Pretty wife? Check. Hot young actress lusting for him? Check. Successful career? Check. Enviable lifestyle? Check. By the end of the book, poor Dick doesn’t even have a POV, let alone a say in things. Despite his prodigious skills, Dick just can’t seem to do the right thing. He’s like a person who has all the tools but for some reason, things just go wrong around him. At first you put it down to rotten luck. Maybe a second time. But repeatedly? No, something’s wrong with him and the choices he makes. Vanity ends up being his biggest sin and he pays for it rather painfully. In the end, appropriately, he disappears into nothingness, never to be seen or heard from again. I’d like to think Dick finally found peace somewhere. He’s a good guy after all.
Best line:
Don’t you know you can’t do anything about people?
No 2: (whistles and cheers) Horace Tarbox
Not an obvious pick, I know. Heck, I’d be surprised if anyone except a die hard fan would identify him immediately. An intellectual who finds it hard to control his emotions for his lady love, Marcia, Horace ticks all the boxes of a Fitzgerald hero. We don’t really get to see enough of his morals so I’m going to assume he falls right in line with the rest of Fitzgerald’s world. Horace experiences the turmoil that passionate love causes in one’s life and soon finds it turned upside down. To his credit he reinvents himself but philosophically realizes he’s lost something thanks to his love. Has he gained enough? The question hangs in the air.
Best line:
(Horace) I hope I haven’t given you the impression that I consider
kissing intrinsically irrational.”(Marcia) Impression? Why, you didn’t even give me the kiss! Never
fret–so long.
No 1: (standing applause. And then again) Amory Blaine
I’ve already mentioned Amory previously and I had linked to an article within that post. I don’t have much to add beyond that really. Amory Blaine: Principled. Passionate. Personage. Heartbroken. Perfect.
Best line:
I’m a romantic–a sentimental person thinks things will last–a romantic person hopes against hope that they won’t.
Somewhere beyond heaven: (no applause is enough) Ardita Farnam
Ok fine, I’m cheating here. I know I said heroes at the beginning but dammit, I can’t leave out Ardita. Much like the pirate who whisked her away, she did much the same to me. She represents everything that men dread and are yet attracted to like a moth to flame. She is spoiled, a complete brat and feels entitled to everything. She doesn’t know when to shut up and thinks she always knows better. Ardita will drive you insane, wreck your life, dump you for some rich Italian playboy and turn you into an aspiring alcoholic (much like any Fitzgerald leading lady). The time you spend with her though? You’ll never ever forget it. Pity the woman who follows her in your life. Her flame burned for a few short pages. And she was perfect.
You see, this is the beauty I want. Beauty has got to be astonishing, astounding–it’s got to burst in on you like a dream, like the exquisite eyes of a girl.
Wild Card: Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
Another rule broken here but I really like Tom a lot. The only friend of Amory’s who isn’t afraid to call him on his BS. His only friend if you ask me.
All I Write About 